My mom flies home today after 43 days with us: 24 pre-baby, and 20 post-baby! It’s very bittersweet. I’m finally starting to feel better physically, and therefore feeling more up to the challenge of taking care of Wesley on my own while Conner is at work, and also being able to get out of the house occasionally, but we all are going to miss her so so much!
My mom was one of the first people to speak to and comfort my son after his somewhat traumatic birth (which I REALLY do intend to write out VERY soon). I cannot tell you how special this is to me, and I’m sure to her as well. The photos below… they bring tears to my eyes instantly. Thank you, Conner, for taking them!
I hardly remember this moment because I was so beyond exhausted, but I DO remember my mom being there during my labor. She was a quiet figure in the periphery most of the time. I totally withdrew into myself to deal with labor, and spent a lot of time with my eyes closed, or tuning out what was around me, but I remember her coming into my consciousness at the moments I needed her most. She’d speak quietly into my ear and tell me I could do this, I was doing great. Apparently I kept asking over and over during the course of the 40 hours, “Is my mom here? Where’s mom?” and Conner would reassure me she was there.
A few days after giving birth I remembered, towards the end of my labor, when things were getting scary and chaotic, Conner said loudly next to me, “Wendy, you’re staying.” I asked him what that had been about and he told me the doctor said more people needed to leave. My mom hesitated because a few of the other people on my birth team hadn’t left yet, so Conner, knowing how much I needed her there and how much it meant to her to BE there, made sure she knew not to go. When he told me this piece I cried, and I’m crying now just thinking about it, about her wondering if she should go. I would have been devastated, DEVASTATED if she’d left. That's a perfect example of Conner looking out for what he knew I wanted and ensuring it happened even when I couldn't.
During the very last moments before Wes was born I looked at my mom and saw she was crying. I think a lot of people in the room were scared but seeing my mom cry, which she doesn’t do often… I felt the full weight of a mother looking at her child and wishing she could take away the pain. To feel my mother’s love so thoroughly in the moment that I myself became a mother was a priceless experience. One she or I will never ever forget.
I would NOT have been able to give birth the way I did without her and Conner and the rest of my amazing birth team. And giving birth to Wesley is by far the greatest accomplishment of my life, and she gets to share credit for helping that happen.
Mom: Thank you for spending weeks on end helping me get through the discomfort of being hugely pregnant and ready to give birth. For cleaning and cooking and making my life 100x easier. For being my companion even when I was grouchy and didn’t want one. For letting me cry and not judging my tears. For making me smile and feel supported and loved. For encouraging us when Wes was in the NICU, and when I had to go back to the ER. For walking through the darker days where postpartum depression threatened. For taking Wes in the mornings so I could get a few extra hours of sleep. For loving my son so purely and instantly. For being my mom when I needed you the most! I will never, ever be able to repay you. I love you! And I know you'll be back soon! :)
I did a bad job of taking pictures with once we were home so most of these are from the NICU.
Lastly I want to add a thank-you to my dad. Besides the 4 days he was here in Texas to meet Wesley, he's been alone at home without mom. In the 44 years they've been together, the longest they'd been apart prior to this was about 10 days. This was more than quadruple that. It's been a sacrifice for him too, and I want to recognize that.
This was the morning Dad was leaving and this photo... DAMN. It breaks my heart! I was just taking a photo of him looking at the post-its full of birth affirmations and congratulatory messages that my mom orchestrated and he teared up and said, "It's just so nice." I couldn't agree more. I love you Dad, and we all miss you!